Embrace the suck

Embrace the suck is a phrase Benton Bishop uses to describe his effort to live with hardship rather than wait for it to disappear. Its meaning is grounded in his return from military service, his ongoing PTSD, and the difficult work of trying to be present for his family; later, the brothers’ plans for a shared business give that endurance a practical direction.

Meaning and First Use

While grilling at a family gathering, Benton says that being back with his family after years in the sandbox feels good, though he wishes he could be better. He adds that he has been trying his damndest and wants to embrace the suck and make it work for him. The phrase does not suggest that his distress is resolved: it names an effort to keep going amid hardship. That qualification becomes clear when Dane Bishop asks whether Benton’s medication is working. Benton shakes his head and describes the difficulty of being told to acknowledge his PTSD, then being pushed out because of it, while still not receiving the help he needs. In that context, the phrase holds a tension between personal perseverance and institutional failure: Benton is trying to adapt, but his struggle is not simply a matter of attitude.

Family and Shared Experience

The exchange takes place as Benton flips burgers and children play in the sprinklers. Dane watches the family and tells Benton he has a good one; when Benton speaks about wishing he could do better, Dane claps him on the shoulder and reassures him that he is trying and is a good father. The phrase is therefore tied to the ordinary, ongoing effort of returning to family life, not to a claim that Benton has overcome his difficulties. Benton’s appeal to making hardship work for him also fits his memory of military service as a time when there was always something to do. He recognizes that activity cannot fill the holes left by loss, but believes it might help. The phrase’s force lies in that modest scale: it does not promise repair, only a way to keep moving.

Later Resonance

When Benton proposes that he and Dane build a business together from scratch, he suggests directing part of the proceeds toward veterans and first responders with PTSD. Dane accepts that the idea sounds good, and reflects that building something could give two military veterans and ex-cons work to occupy them. Their toast to better days connects the earlier phrase to a shared undertaking: endurance becomes not only a private approach to hardship, but a reason to create something useful for others facing PTSD.